Title: Reclaimed (A Knights Rebels MC Novella 2.5)
Author: River Savage
Publication Date: February 17, 2015
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Add to your TBR: Goodreads
“I don’t know what you want from me,” I whisper. Communication was never this hard. The distance growing further between us as each day passes makes me afraid that this is what we’ve become.
“I just want to bring you happiness, baby,” he sighs, but before I can tell him I don’t think he can, Harlow’s cries come through the monitor. I move off the bed to go to her, knowing she will need to be fed.
“You walk out of this room, Kadence, you walk out on me.” His cold tone stops me from moving any further. It’s the same tone he used in the bathroom. “Leave her,” he commands, but the thought of continuing this conversation, where we tear each other down, has me fighting him.
“Nix, I have to check on her.” I continue to the door.
“Don’t you dare leave this fuckin’ room. I’m important too. I’m your fuckin’ husband. Do you hear me? We are important.” His hand sweeps across his nightstand, causing one big crash that sends everything tumbling to the floor. I’m frozen in place, my hand resting on the door handle. The room is silent. The shock of what has gone on tonight so raw I don’t think either of us knows how to process it.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” I repeat, closing my eyes when Harlow’s cries grow louder, sending my anxiety rising. Doesn’t he know he’s only making it worse?
“Jesus, I don’t know. Give me a look, smile at me…fuckin’ touch me. Give me a connection that says we’re on the same fuckin’ side. I can’t continue to stay in this place we are in. I’m drowning here, Kadence. We both are, and I just don’t know if I can keep treading water for both of us. You have to help me, baby. You have to want us to survive.” He falls to the bed, his head dropping to his hands. Seeing him like this, in this state makes me realize that our situation is bigger than me, than him. It’s bigger than either one of us realize.
“That’s not fair.” I release the handle and turn, collapsing against the wall. The wind knocks out of me as his words resonate within me. We are drowning and I have to stop fighting. At this realization, my knees become weak. Standing becomes too hard. I slide down the wall, dropping my ass to the carpet.
“Life isn’t fair, Kadence. I wish it was, but it just isn’t. Look where we both have come from; look where life has taken us. We won’t survive if you won’t talk to me, Kadence. Talk to someone.” He stands to come to me, but having him in my space only makes things worse.
“Please don’t.” I draw in a breath, defeated. His frustration and concerns only prove what a bad mother I’ve been, what a bad wife I’ve become.
“Don’t what, Kadence? Don’t make me walk away. I want my wife back. I don’t know what’s happened, but I don’t like who you’ve become.” His voice is pained, as broken as my soul feels. His confession doesn’t surprise me, but it still burns. I know I don’t like who I’ve become. How do I expect Nix to like me?
“You don’t think I ask myself that question every day? That I don’t look at myself and ask what is wrong with me? I don’t know who I’ve become, Nix. All I know is I should. I should know who I am.” My head thuds against the wall in defeat. I can’t keep going on like this. I can hear Harlow’s cries quietening, as she resettles herself, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting out of this room.
“I know who you are, Kadence. You’re the woman I love. The most amazin’ mother to our daughter, our son.” Saying Z is my son pulls at me harder. The fact that he, too, is affected by what is happening hurts even more. Nix walks over and squats to my level, careful not to get into my space, but close enough for me to reach out and touch him if I wanted to.
“Why don’t I know that? I should know that Nix.”
“You don’t have to know. I know, the kids know and that’s enough.”
“It’s not enough for me.” My hand itches to touch him, to feel his hardness under my fingers, but sitting broken on the floor of our bedroom, I know I can’t. I can’t touch the man who means everything to me and I hate myself for it.
“When did you stop trustin’ yourself?”
“I don’t know. When did I stop being myself?” I counter, and my admission halts him for a moment. He crawls forward, coming closer into my space. His warmth, his calming presence wraps itself all over me.
“The first step is askin’ for help, baby. Let me help you. You don’t have to be alone. Let me learn to breathe the ugliness you see. Let me share the darkness, Kadence. Just don’t push me away.” His pleading pulls at me, pulls at the hatred that has settled inside.
“I’m not doing good, Nix,” I say, looking up and giving him what he needs. What I need. “Somewhere along the way, I woke completely lost and overwhelmed. And every day, it gets harder and harder to deal.” A sob tears from deep within me, and walls I’ve been hiding behind crumble down.
“I know, baby.” He pulls me into the hardness of his chest. “We’re gonna be okay,” he promises, and everything in me wants to believe him. Everything in me wants to trust he has me. That he has us. But the truth is, I’ve drowned in so much self-doubt and uneasiness, that trust seems so far away.
*****5 AMAZING Stars*****
The instant I met Nix and Kaydence in Incandescent, I was just enraptured in the fierceness that is them. I effing love their characters. Their passion, their love, the dynamic of the connection they share, everything.
Going into this novella, I knew I would get more Nix and Kaydence, but I didn’t know how much emotion, pain, and vulnerability I was going to find with them in Reclaimed. This story pulled at every single emotion I had, and at times it hurt my heart so much to read what Nix and Kaydence were going through, but I cannot tell you enough how utterly phenomenal this novella was.
What River Savage creates in this story will pull at your heart again and again. She created a chapter in Nix and Kaydence’s story that packs one serious emotional punch. She tackles a subject that is very very real, and very very raw, and she does that with such a magnificent level of authenticity.
Bottom line: she does it justice.
That’s probably the aspect I took away most from this novella. I love me some Nix and Kaydence something fierce, and will never tire of reading a story filled with their amazing selves, but what River Savage creates and takes on in this novella is something else. Something more. She tackles a real live struggle that many women face, and does so with an immense amount thought and care.
I myself am not a mother yet. I’ve never personally experienced the things that Kaydence goes through with creating the most extraordinary thing, a new life, to then being thrust into something you were never prepared for. Something you never expected to have happen, feeling things you never wished to feel. I’ve never felt what Nix experiences when he watches someone he loves fade away into a pain filled numbness, all while losing a parts of himself in the process.
I’ve never experienced that kind of pain or felt that level of internal and external struggle, but after Reclaimed I feel like I have such a better understanding of it all, because of what River Savage created. The writing and development of this story and its characters makes it so easy to connect into all that is going on and all they go through, which makes for an unforgettable reading experience.
Nix, Kaydence, Z, and Low’s story is brought to life, and within all of their pain and struggle is so much breathtaking strength at what they fight through and attempt to overcome together.
My heart still aches from the full on emotional and pain filled story within Reclaimed. But at the same time my heart also soars after reading this story because of what River Savage wrote, created, and brought to the page. While this story pulled at my heart more times than I can remember, it also tried to heal it over and over again with the continuation of Nix and Kaydence’s spectacular story.
Reclaimed takes Nix and Kaydence to their most vulnerable. It pushes them to places they never expected to be, but it also brings them to an extraordinary place. All that struggle, all that pain, all that fight comes out in Reclaimed, and I guarantee you’re going to be blown away from it all.
While Reclaimed is definitely a heavier emotional read, it also has everything else that I’ve come to effing love from this author and this series. All of the outstanding characters from this series are back, and just add to the entire extraordinary picture that is Reclaimed. Jesse, Sy, Holly, Beau, Brooks, Z, and everyone else come back to wow you. Their wonderful and distinctive personalities continue to shine through, and I love them all the more. And Jesse’s book needs to get here like yesterday. Just saying.
This book also packs some serious heat and heart. You feel the love and you feel that connection Nix and Kaydence share, and the passion they have for one another that you’ve come to know from the other books just catapults off of the page. All those moments of searing heat and passion, and all those moments of heart melting love, fit into this story seamlessly and will just make you whole heartedly believe again that what they share is worth fighting for with all you’ve got.
What can I say? I heart me some Nix and Kaydence. River Savage writes a well-developed and thoughtfully crafted story within this novella, and she does these characters and their emotional story the justice they warrant. The events of this novella make them fight like crazy to reclaim what they once had, but let me tell you: it’s one helluva fight that shows the true power and breathtaking beauty of love.
I’m just blown away yet again by everything this story had. All that pain, all that vulnerability, all that emotion, all that enrapturing passion and love. It all just fit together like the pieces of a well-made puzzle, and it’s just going to knock your darn socks off.
Reclaimed was just so much of everything, and I loved every little thing about it. Even those heartbreaking moments, because they were real and raw, and they were a part of Nix and Kaydence’s story that needed to be told.
This is a phenomenal addition to this series, amplifying all that makes these books and characters exceptional, and I for one cannot wait for more.
Until he meets Kadence.
Kadence Turner has no business lusting over a student’s father, especially the president of the Knights Rebels MC. Nix is crass, obnoxious and dangerously sexy and for some reason, Kadence can’t seem to hate him for it. The bossy biker breaks down her defenses, but unlike the old Kadence, the woman she is today won’t give in without a fight.
The tension is undeniable, the attraction fierce. A man that wants what he wants and a woman that will fight him every step of the way.
Until she arrives and shines her light so bright that nothing else mattered.
She was only in it for the chase, for the thrill of capturing the unattainable.
But what happens when her world shatters around her, spiraling her into the darkness beside him?
Can his affliction be her resurrection?
Or will two lost souls living in the depths of deception let it destroy them?
River Savage is the author of the Knights Rebels MC Series.